Moments
by Jacova
Summary: Just some B/S fluff - set after After Life


Moments 

Standard disclaimer applies. I own nothing.

Rating: PG

Summery - a short, fluffy B/S fic that takes place after After Life. 

****

Moments

By Jacova

Buffy stared at herself in the mirror. She looked thinner than she remembered, disheveled looking. "Guess that's what happens when you die" she said to herself. 

It felt wrong. Just the act of getting dressed and putting on make-up, it felt wrong. She wanted to just go back to sleep and never wake up. Maybe then she could find her peace again. But then she remembered Dawn and her friends that needed her so bad that they risked everything to bring her back to life. She figured she should try to start living…for them.

There was a knock at the door – it was Willow. "Hey Buffy" she spoke tentatively "We're all going to hang at the Bronze tonight. Wanna come? It could be like a welcome back party..."

Buffy's face didn't change, and she didn't look at Willow. "I'll pass." She could feel the hurt emanating from her best friend, so she forced herself to smile and look at the red head "Well, maybe if I feel up to it…" There, that made her feel better. Willow nodded and left. The Bronze. That was just too much too soon. It was hard enough to get herself out of bed everyday, to get dressed, to leave the house. 

Buffy peered out the window. It was dark, which meant she had an excuse to be alone. She ran down the stairs, grabbed her coat, and yelled "I'm going to patrol!" just before the door slammed behind her.

Willow and Tara were in the kitchen when they heard the yell followed by the door slam.

"How's she doing?" A concerned Tara asked her lover.

"I don't know. She seems too distant, you know? Like she's happy to be back, but she's unhappy about something. She won't talk to me at all."

"Give her time. She must be going through so much right now. We can't possibly know how she's feeling."

"You're right, I know. It's just – I can't shake the feeling that she's mad at me, like she thinks I did something wrong."

"No, honey. You were right. She'll see it soon."

Willow smiled at Tara, and wrapped her arms around her. "I love you"

Tara smiled back. "I know."

Buffy sat at the edge of a cliff, watching the water smash against the rocks. She couldn't help but wonder if it would hurt, or she would lose consciousness before her body slammed into the rocks below. Quickly, she pushed away the notion. It was quiet and peaceful here, like no other being knew about the place but her. That's why she came, for the peace, she tried to convince herself. 

"You know, I bet the view from up here is a lot nicer than the one from down there."

She heard the familiar British voice and smiled, but didn't turn to look at him. Instead she just stared into space, and welcomed the feeling of him getting closer to her. 

"I should tell you something, love." Spike began as he sat down beside her. "Now that you're….back, I've re-staked my claim on you." Buffy didn't answer, but looked at him quizzically. "Which means – no one gets to kill you, but me."

Buffy sighed in relief. "Spike, you know you'll never kill me."

"Exactly."

Buffy didn't have an answer to that, so she went back to staring into the lake below. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, taking in the peace that surrounded them. They were content just to be with each other. 

Out of no where, Buffy spoke: "Do you think your soul is in heaven?"

Spike was completely taken off guard by that question. He hadn't thought about it since he was turned and he certainly didn't want to think about it now, especially since he now knew that such a place existed. He didn't have to think about it for very long, however, for the words just poured from his lips.

"It was." He replied very carefully so that Buffy would get his meaning. "And now it's back with me."

Buffy looked a little confused at first and Spike thought he might have to explain his answer. But soon the realization came across her face followed by a single tear running down her cheek. He reached toward her face to wipe the tear away, and as he did she took his hand in hers and kissed it ever so slightly.

As they gazed into each others eyes, Buffy reached her hand toward his hair and swept it through to the back of his neck. With her encouragement, Spike leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. Buffy returned the kiss, fully enjoying the moment. They both ended the kiss at the same time, wanting more, but knowing that this was neither the time nor the place. 

Spike searched Buffy's face for signs of regret, or disgust, or anger – the sentiments he was used to from Buffy. But all he saw was contentment, and possibly…happiness? He hadn't seen her happy in such a long time he almost forgot what it looked like on her. But there it was. Buffy was smiling. And it wasn't the forced smile that she had been using on her friends, her eyes were smiling as well. He took this as a good sign. 

"Come on, love. I'll drive you home."

Buffy nodded, and let him help her up. "Oh – I have a stop to make first."

The De Soto reached it's destination in no time at all. They sat in the parking lot for a minute and Spike noticed that Buffy wasn't making any attempt to get out of the car.

"You sure you're up for this, pet?"

"I'll have to do it sooner or later."

Buffy took a deep breath, and got out of the car. Realizing that Spike stayed put, she opened the door again. 

"Are you coming?"

Spike looked a little shocked that she was asking him to come with her, so he didn't move.

"Please, Spike. I don't think I can do this without you."

Spike needed no further incentive. He hopped out the car and rushed to her side. 

Buffy squinted as they entered the dark, noisy club that she and her friends had frequented since she moved to Sunnydale. Everything looked the same. She wasn't sure why she thought it wouldn't, maybe because everything else in her life seemed so different. But it was the same old Bronze. She spotted Xander and Anya dancing and a smile crept onto her face. For the first time since she came back she noticed how happy they were together.

"The witches are over there." Spike whispered in her ear. She looked over to where he was pointing and found Willow and Tara sitting at a table waving at them. They, too, looked very happy. 

"Hey Buffy! I'm so glad you decided to come!" Willow jumped up and gave Buffy a hug. Tara smiled warmly at both Buffy and Spike, and offered them a chair. Buffy sat, while Spike went to the bar.

Xander and Anya finished their dance, and were both very glad to see that Buffy had decided to join them for the evening. Xander wasn't as glad when he saw that Spike had come with her, but he got over it soon enough. They all sat and chatted like old times. After a while, Willow and Tara decided to break away for a dance, and Xander and Anya followed suit.

"How 'bout it, pet?" Spike held his hand out to Buffy, which she gracefully accepted.

"Are you having a good time?" Spike asked as he twirled her on the dance floor.

"You know, I actually am. I don't remember the last time I had such a good time."

"Good."

They danced some more. Their bodies moved together in perfect unison, as if they were one.

"Thank you." Buffy whispered in his ear.

"What for, love?"

"For showing me that life is worth living."

Spike felt his eyes tear as he held her close to him, and squeezed her tightly. She rested her head on his shoulder for the rest of the dance, not a thought in the world other than his touch, his smell. If felt so good to be in his arms, so right. She closed her eyes and just let herself enjoy this moment. Her future would be filled with moments like this. Her future. She made a mental note to be nicer to Willow from now on. Maybe life isn't so bad after all.


End file.
